Colorado!

So, I recently took a trip to Colorado. Mainly was in Fort Collins, but spend some time in Denver and Loveland, too. One word will describe the entire trip: absolutely, positively, 100% beautiful, amazing, relaxing, and serene.

I loved it. I am really thinking about moving there someday. Don't know which City for sure, but I've got a good idea it's going to be Colorado.

It was so great getting to spend so much time with Paula and Amber. Amber's gotten so big, though! Well, I mean - she's still skinny as a bean pole, but she's tall as hell. 12 years old! My baby is growing up so fast! Poor Greg, Paula's hubby, was sick the whole time. He did poke his head out now and then to show himself, though.

So, my trip began with a airplane ride. The last airplane ride I had was when I was 12ish, and I could barely remember it. I have been to McCarran International since then, but not on an actual plane. Mom and I stopped at Ruby's Burger shop and had the best damn mushroom burger I've ever had before. Ever. Ever ever.

The plane ride itself was awesome. We hit a tiny bit of turbulance, and it gave me a bit of a thrill. Freaked mom out a bit, and made her tummy queasy, but we were okay. We sat next to a guy with an attitude, but all was well. He was right next to the window seat, and so when I tried to see out the window, you could tell it annoyed him. Oh, well. He can kiss my ass.

We arrived, and Paula picked us up from the tiny little airport (if you can call it an airport). It was literally a double-wide trailor. The 'baggage claim' was outside under a tarp. We went to Amber's school to pick her up, and from there, went to Paula's house. We did the obligatory house tour, and I fell in love. She's got a cute little garden in the back. It didn't have anything growing, since we just got out of winter, but it was cute nonetheless. I met thier doggy Peaches (Peaches Jubilee, that is...she confused it with Cherries Jubilee. We had a good laugh when she explained to us where the dog's name came from). Peaches was a sweetheart. A little overweight, but loveable, nonetheless. Her house is absolutely beautiful. I'd go into more, but it'll be boring, I'm sure.

Amber and I got a chance to play some air hockey (which I whooped her in), some foozeball (which I whooped her in), and some ping-pong (which I whooped her in). In her defence, though - she's only 12. I had super fun spending time with her, for sure.

I also watched 30 Days of Night on one night, and The Mist another night. 30 Days didn't scare me at all, despite claims it's one of the scariest movies out there. I mean...come on. I watched it alone, middle of the night, with the wind howling outside. A few freaky parts. But nothing that even made me jump. The mist was good, but the end pissed me off. (I was having some trouble falling alseep so early, so I rented some On Demand stuff...)

There's little bunnies all around the neighborhood, playing in people's front yards. It was totally fricken adorable. There's even a fox a bit up the street, who hangs out with her baby foxies in the shrubs.

Over the days we were there, I got my first taste of martinis (yuck...) my first good taste of wine (pretty darn good...) and my first taste of Bailey's Irish Creme (MMMMMMM.....). Paula got me drunk on Saturday night while we played Cranium and Apples to Apples. It was a fun night, to say the least.

We went to the Denver Art Museum, which I absolutely loved. It was awesome. Some parts were oh-so-boring, but others were amazing beyond belief. To each his own. And, I had fun overall.

We also went up to Loveland and another little town that I forgot the name of, and there were a lot of little shops that we checked out. I bought myself a butterfly charm, because I losy my old one when Buddy broke my chain, and I put it in a "safe place", waiting for Ross to buy me a new chain. The safe place that I picked has since become so safe, even I cannot remember it. So, I'm sure I'll find it someday. Until then, I got a new charm and a new chain. Both are b-e-a-utiful. On the way up to the shops, we went up a really pretty mountainous road with small houses built into the side of the mountain! I saw a baby mountain lion that to the regular person would have looked like a orange regular sized house cat, but I knew it was an itty-bitty mountain lion.

We went to the Sculpture Park in Loveland, and I had a lot of fun there. I discovered that I'm a camera whore, and took lots of pictures with the different sculptures. I'll be posting them and other pics I took over the vacation on my MySpace shortly.

It even snowed while we were there! It was so awesome. It didn't snow so much that it left a blanket of snow on the ground, but you could see the snowflakes dropping for sure. And it wasn't even that cold there!

There's lot of things (or, people, more like it...) that I'd miss here in Vegas, but the quality of life is just so much better up there! The air is so clean. The cities are kept so nicely. And people aren'y cranky all the time! I'll have to go back to visit soon, for sure. But, if Paula gets her way, I'll be moving up there for permanent one of these days.

Randomized Factoids.

1. I have a Pomimo named Buddy, and literally treat him like he's my child.

2. My middle name is Leigh, not Lee. I'm named after Vivian Leigh, who played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind.

3. Though my birth stone is technically garnet, I hate garnet, and claim Amethyst as my birth stone.

4. I'm obsessed with Pandas.

5. Most people say I look younger than my age. I hate that.

6. My ultimate life goal is to own at least one horse.

7. I love basically anything to do with the sky. Clouds, stars, the moon…it's all awesome to me. Not the sun, though. Sunlight sucks.

8. I'm allergic to raspberries and pineapples.

9. I'm a juggalette.

10. I've got asthma.

11. If you play with my hair, I'll damn near turn to putty in your hands.

12. If you pull it, that'll get me going, too.

13. I want to be a mother more than anything.

14. I was born in Pittsburgh, PA. (Go, Steelers!)

15. My mommy is the awesomest person in this world.

16. Rain to me is the best smell in the world.

17. I am a huge animal lover.

18. In high school, I wrote poems.

19. Though I probably won't get a tattoo because of the "it'll be there forever" thing, I really want one, because I want to experience that pain.

20. My favorite comedians are Lewis Black, Dane Cook, and Jeff Dunham. In that order.

21. I once had a hole in my lung.

22. I don't have any true fears.

23. One thing that freaks me out, though, is a dark bathroom.

24. I love roller coasters.

25. I collect key chains.

26. The only french fries I really like are Burger King's or Red Robin's.

27. I can type between 80-90 words per minute, the last time I checked. That was about 2 years ago.

28. I've never been outside of the Country.

29. I really like vanilla scented candles.

30. I like sushi.

31. Evanescence is my favorite band. I know every lyric to every song.

32. Tom Cruise is horribly unattractive to me.
33. I'm a sucker for German Chocolate Cake, muscular arms, goatees, comfy slippers, massages, and people with a good sense of humor.

34. I like rainbows.

35. I have a very low tolerance for racist people, cheaters, poachers, backstabbers, people with poor personal hygiene, gang bangers who kill for fun, animal abusers, drunk drivers, or people who live in America and don't speak English.

36. I procrastinate with most things.

37. When I was a kid, I collected Goosebumps books.

38. I'm addicted to surveys.

39. When I was younger, I always wanted to be a veterinarian. I still do, too. The answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" has never, ever changed.

40. I've had my wisdom teeth pulled.

41. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan.

42. I don't like dolphins so much. I don't see why so many people love them.

43. I once owned two snakes.

44. I've been in love on more than one occasion. I fall easily, it seems.

45. I will never, ever have a TV in my room. I don't know why, but I just can't do it. I've heard it makes you have very bad sleep hygiene.

46. I love socks. Especially the cute toe socks.

47. I do not have a favorite number.

48. I'm a mutt. I've got Italian, Polish, Hungarian, Irish, and French in me.

49. I have pretty bad insomnia.

50. I can sleep anywhere, wearing anything. (Or nothing…)

51. The future, with robots and everything, kinda scares me. I'm afraid a Matrix type-thing is going to take place, and I'm happy I won't be alive to see it. (Hopefully, anyways.)

52. I'm a very light sleeper. I have been able to wake up at the whisper of my name.

53. I still have a toy stuffed elephant named Blinkie Blue that I got when I was an infant, and it's still in pretty good condition. It does not blink its eyes, and it is not blue. I don't know where I got the name from.

54. I don't have many friends. I can count the people I'd list as true friends on one hand.

55. I'm obsessed with Smallville, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel.

56. My new favorite show is Firefly.

57. Dr. Pepper, Sobe Green Tea, and Virgin Mary's are my favorite drinks. In that order.

58. I once got a bloody lip from my bra snapping and my boob hitting me in the mouth while I was playing softball.

59. I'm a really touchy-feely kind of person. I also like hugs a whole lot.

60. I'm a member of both gaiaonline.com and otakubooty.com.

61. I love wearing earrings.

62. I'll spend money on a friend before I spend money on myself.

63. Halloween is my favorite Holiday.

64. My first job was at the Sweet Factory. I also worked at Spencer Gifts and Tropik Sun.

65. I smoked weed with my boss at his house when I was 17.

66. I like Christmas because I get to watch people open the presents I get them.

67. I like Diet Coke for the taste. I do not drink it because it's a "diet soda".

68. Though I don't follow horoscopes, any time I've read mine, it was eerily spot-on with exactly what was going on in my life at that time.

69. I used to pretend to have an English accent when I worked for a survey company, and it got me better results.

70. Even if I may not agree with or follow things that you do or believe, I will not judge you or tell you what you are doing is wrong. Unless I'm playing with you. Then, you can just learn to take the abuse!

71. I love both dogs and cats.

72. I LOVE both puppies and kitties.

73. My left ankle is weak. I've sprained/twisted it so many times, I've lost count.

74. I have never had a broken bone or stitches.

75. I have a high tolerance for medications and alcohol.

76. I once had three jobs at one time.

77. My biggest pet peeves include people who waste food, littering, people who complain of not having money but don't have a job, pop-ups, girls who wear way too much make-up, Extenze commercials, people who tYpE lIkE tHis, and when people leave an empty toilet paper roll.

78. I snore, apparently. Not loud, though. And only when I'm really, really tired.

79. I'm a snuggler. Big time.

80. I love the geico.com commercials, freecreditreport.com commercials, and the sunny side of truth commercials. I have to sing along to the jingles. And the cavemen and gecko are just too cute!

81. I used to be in a bowling league when I was younger.

82. Though I'm allergic to cats, I can't help but pet them when I'm around them. The runny nose, sinus headaches, and itchy red eyes are totally worth it to me, for some reason.

83. I've slept-walked before. I got all the way to the front door, when my mom found me and turned me back around to put me back in bed.

84. I have to eat my steak rare.

85. I love driving.

86. I've been told I'm a crazy driver by so many people, I readily admit it now.

87. I used to talk to and see ghosts when I was much younger. (I've been told this by multiple people; I don't actually remember it, though.)

88. Though I'm horribly lazy when it comes to chores around my own house, when I'm at someone else's house, I have no problem picking up after myself or helping them clean.

89. When I was in high school, I was a total poser. I pretended to be a skater, and later on pretended to be a raver/candy kid. I never learned how to skateboard, and I've never been to a rave.

90. When I'm depressed, mad, or otherwise in a bad mood, I get super quiet. Unless you really piss me off. Then you can't shut me up.

91. I cuss way too much, though the term "God damn" gets on my last nerve. It bugs me a whole lot when people say that.

92. I'm fascinated by Japanese culture and hope to one day learn to speak fluent Japanese. I can currently read and recognize about 100 or so kanji.

93. I'm obsessed with paranormal activity.

94. I'm a police dispatcher.

95. I'm an Aquarius.

96. I'm dyslexic with numbers.

97. I cling to people that I feel close to. I really can't help it. I am so lonely in life, when I find a true friend, I put my all into that relationship with them.

98. I'm obsessed with vampires.

99. My favorite color is purple, with close seconds being silver, teal, and black.

100. I don't like living in Vegas.

101. I can eat cottage cheese like there's no tomorrow.

102. Horror movies are my favorite type of movie. Disney movies are my second favorite.

103. I'm very, very, very, very movie illiterate.

104. I've never seen a Jason or Halloween movie.

105. I have major acceptance issues. Meaning I never think people accept me, and I'm always striving to feel accepted.

106. I'm an impulse buyer.

107. My grandma on my dad's side was gay.

108. My fetish is biting.

109. My anti-fetish is feet.

110. I'm kinda-sorta boy crazy. Unless I've got a boyfriend. Then I'm 150% devoted.

111. I used to be Mormon.

112. I'm obsessed with Bondage Faeries.

113. I'm a divorcee.

114. One of my life goals is to play naked twister.

115. I actually miss school and homework.

116. Though I love butterflies, I don't like fairies quite so much.

117. Rainstorms are a huge turn-on to me.

118. I don't like most sweets. I rarely, if ever, crave things like cookies, cakes, and ice cream.

119. Though I love video games, I'm not a fan of most of the really popular ones. Halo, for instance is a game I've never played, nor do I want to.

120. I'm a huge fan of both Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

121. I watch infomercials when I'm bored.

122. I have a tongue ring.

123. I had hair down to my butt, then cut off 2 feet of it and donated it.

124. I really, really, really doubt that anyone is going to take the time to read this whole list.

125. I stole this idea from W2.

The haircut heard 'round the world...

Yup, it's true. After months of indiscision and procrastination - I've finally changed my hair. I've been telling people I've wanted a change for months, but just couldn't figure out what to do. Should I get bangs? Should I try a new style? Should I dye it? What to do, what to do...

Well, I really wanted to try the bang thing, but then everyone told me that it wouldn't look good on me. They said it would make me look younger. And, since I don't look my age as it is, I didn't want that.

I couldn't dye it any wacky colors. I wanted to do purple streaks, but couldn't with work - it's against policy. I was thinking of maybe going lighter. Not blonde, but light brown. Nah...I don't like brown. And blonde is too dramatic of a change from what it's been for so long.

And, stlye-wise, I couldn't figure out what style I wanted to do...most of them just didn't look good, in my opinion, and so I was faced with a dilemma.

I asked lots of people what they thought, and most answers were the same - just leave it alone - it looks fine as it is. Well, it got boring to me. Really, really boring. Don't get me wrong, I loved my hair. I've been growing it basically all of my life. But, then, a friend gave me an idea.

Unbeknownst to him, it planted a seed in my mind that absolutely multiplied in size within a few days. He told me that someone he worked with was donating her hair - she was super scared, because she had to cut a lot of it off, and was afraid she woulnd't look nice with the shorter cut. He, being the sweet guy I know he is, reassured her she'd look fine no matter what she did to her hair.

His story got my curiosity going. I checked out the donation sites online, and found you can donate a minimum of 10 inches. But here's the catch - 2-3 of those inches go into making the wigs for the people with cancer and alopecia. So, at the most, the wig will come down to the bottom of thier ears. That's no fair - what about the kids that want long hair wigs?

So, I cut it. Chopped it. Butchered it. 25 inches, people. 2 friggen feet of hair! And, even though I was scared it wasn't going to look nice, just like Ross's friend thought, I knew that it was going to go to a great cause. My hair can grow back. In about 4-5 years, it will be that long again, if I want to grow it out. Those kids with alopecia can't grow thier hair. Ever. Anywhere. Not eyebrows, eyelashes, or even...down there. (Which wouldn't be such a horrible thing, I don't think...) xD

Here's the kicker...I LOVE my haircut! It is so fricken cute! It makes me look sexy, I think. Super cute, sophisticated even. I have had such a confidence boost. I'm not planning on keeping a short cut forever - because I loved my long hair and the compliments I got from it. But, since yesterday, I've gotten SO many compliments with this cut, too! I feel so great about it. Everyone loves it. I was so suprised on how it came out.

So, even though I know you didn't mean to, (In fact, I'm sure this is the last thing you were trying to have happen from telling me that story...) thank you, Ross, for planting that idea into my head. And that kid with alopecia thanks you, too - wherever she is. (Or he, if it's some weird guy who wants long hair...)

A good couple of weeks.

No, really - these past two weeks have been pretty awesome. I know I don't say that often. I'm actually surprised that things have been going so well. I thought I'd be real bummed and all with me and Ross not being together anymore, but I've handled that whole thing rather well, if I do say so myself.

Since I haven't updated in a bit, this will be a huge mix of nothing in particular and everything in general. Here goes:

I got myself to the movie theater for the first time in months. Marita, Jes, and I all went to see Sweeney Todd, In the Name of the King, and I am Legend. I was pleased overall. Sweeney Todd blew me away, I loved it. End of story. I am Legend was more than I expected. The previews made it seem like it was just another zombie movie. There's nothing wrong with that, of course - I love my zombie movies. But, the story line was deeper than that. Very well put together. In the Name of the King...well...the acting was bad. Really bad. But, the plot was good. The medieval times of the movie saved it. If it was any other type of movie, though, it wouldn't have been good.

Comedy Central has been my savior this week. Dane Cooke, Lewis Black, and Jeff Dunham. Need I say more? Dane Cook I've loved for years, and Jeff Dunham has been a favorite of mine for quite some time. Lewis Black is my new favorite comedian. He is hilarious, hands down. I'd never seen him before, and I fell in love immidiately within the first ten minutes. I've seen two of his performances, and loved them both. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. Yay for the funny Jewish guy! The only down side to watching Comedy Central through the night is the constant Girls Gone Wild commercials. And all those stupid Extenze commercials on MTV are enough to drive you batty. Fricken personal enhancement for that 'certain part of the male body'? Arrghhh! Are you fricken kidding me?

Some new seasons of shows have been quite good, too. Reno 911 was awesome; definitely worth the wait. The Gauntlett III is also back. A few of my favorite characters aren't there this time around, but C.T., Beth, Diem, and Coral are all there. So, I'm sure it'll be jam-packed with fun fights throughout the season. The premier of Moment of Truth got me hooked. I like that show already. I mean, come on - any show that can have it's first contestant almost lose his marriage and job within the first 15 minutes has got to be good!

And let's not forget my birthday. All in all, it was really good. One of the best I've ever had, actually. Thursday mom took me to Red Lobster. Haven't been there in years, and the food was absolutely delicious. The waiter sucked, but I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too. (Which has never made any friggen sense to me. Why would I have cake if I wasn't going to eat it!?) Friday we went to see Tournament of Kings at the Excaliber. I've wanted to see it for years, and it was worth the wait and then some. Next to see on my list are Penn & Teller. Then, to complete my birthday week, I had my bowling "party". I invited 19 people. Zero showed up. But that's okay. Me, mom, Marita, and Jes all had a bit of fun bowling anyways. I bowled the worst I've bowled in years. I think my scores were 53 and 96. That is so pathetic, I had to laugh at myself. We had fun, so it's okay. I also got to chat with Ross for a while when waiting for the lanes to open, so that brightened my night a bit. Of course we had to wait for 2 hours for lanes. When I had called 2 weeks earlier to reserve the lanes, they said that reservations aren't needed. When we got there, a league was going on - we did indeed need reservations. So, I guess, it's a good thing no one showed up, eh?

This whole presidential bull is taking a toll on me. A month ago, I would have said I knew who I was voting for. Not now. I saw a debate, and one candidate that I was rooting for before really didn't do well, and another that wasn't even on my list scored a lot of brownie points. So, I'm more confused than ever before. I guess I'll just not let it stress me, since I've got months to make up my mind. The person I'm rooting for probably won't even make it, so why worry?

The rain this past week has been beautiful. I've been missing a lot of it, since most of it is happening during the night, when I'm either sleeping or working. But, you can smell the freshness of the air when you step outside. I love it. I really wish we had more rain here. Mother nature - keep it coming!

I've recently began loving two foods I never thought I would: sushi and mexican. I'm a wimp when it comes to spices, so authentic mexican food has never been my thing. And sushi has never been tasty to me. Well, Willy & Jose's, a resturaunt in Sam's Town, is one of my new favorites. The food there is amazing, and not too spicy. Not spicy at all, actually. The Chicken Chimichanga was to die for, and they serve chips and salsa before your meal with refried beans on the side that was also really good. Then, Marita turned me onto a nice sushi resturaunt in the shopping plaza where she works. The California rolls there are soooo good. I was really surprised how much I actually liked it. She's introduced me to quite a few new foods that I never thought I'd like. Spam Musubi is another thing she got me into, and I crave it every few weeks.

And last, but not least, I've finally come to terms on an issue that I've been skirting around for years. I'm not going to church anymore. I know that if I ever want to go, it's there for me, but I'm not going to stress myself out anymore and worry about what other people would want me to do. I slept in this morning instead of getting up for church, and it is one of the best sleep-in days I've had in a long time. I've gone because I thought it was the right thing to do, but never because I actually wanted to go for myself. It was just not for me. Maybe someday I'll find a church that more suits my needs. Or maybe I won't. Either way, I'm content with my decision for now to just take a much needed break from the whole 'church life' scene. It'll be a big change, not being the "good little mormon girl" anymore. But, I want to be happy. And that lifestyle wasn't making me happy.

Who are you?

You know...that's a very confusing question. If you had asked me that a few years ago, or even a few months ago, I would have readily had an answer for you. Now, I'm just not so sure about it.

I know who I want to be, I know what I want in life, and I know what's important to me. But, I really don't know if I know who I am.

I used to hear people talk about identity crises and think "How can you not know who you are...? You are you, for goodness sake - who else would know who you are?" But, now I know what they felt, and why they spoke of identity crises. Because the more I try to think about things and make them make sense to me, the harder it is and the more confusing I become.

Things that for years I've held important to me, and based myself around, I am realizing for one reason or another, may not be as important as I thought they were. Things that I've held pride in are all of a sudden not so substantial.

The worst part of it all, is I don't know where this is coming from, I don't know how to fix it, and I feel like there is no one to go to to talk about it. Mom wouldn't understand - she'd be disappointed in me that I am questioning things that should be obvious in my life. Things that were at one point very obvious to me. Things I thought would always be obvious. Marita, well...she means well, and I know she loves me, but I really don't think she really cares all that much. Any time I've gone to her about something that's bothering me, she shrugs off the conversation. I've got some others that I'd like to go to, but I am so afraid of rejection. Being rejected hurts so badly - and I've felt it too often.

I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room and screaming, but no one can hear me because they are all engrossed in their own conversations. And, I cannot blame them for having those conversations; they are important to them, and who am I to believe that what I have to say is any more important?

The truth is - I really don't know who truly cares about me. And how do you ask someone if they care about you? It's something that you've got to have faith in. Well...my faith is wavering in more than one area recently, it seems. I feel like I need some one to save me - to show me who I am. But that is ridiculous. It's something I need to find on my own. But that is so hard to do - I find someone who I think will care about me, cling to them, and change who I am based on what they make me think and feel. And it's not always romantically. I hang out with friends, and start realizing the things that make them happy and they have fun doing, I like too. Or is that really it? Is it me just screaming for someone to accept me so badly that I literally change myself to be more like them, so they will like me more? So they will accept me?

I know there are things that I've always liked and that are unique to me that people can't change. Some things I just love so much, I know they are too important for anyone to be able to sway how I feel about them. But other things - that I thought I held dear to me...I just don't anymore. I've become such a different person recently, I really can't say I know who I am inside.

The truth is - I think I really am a person who keeps changing. I don't think I've become who I'm supposed to be yet. And I don't know how to become that person. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know that absolutely no one can change me if I'm not willing to change. The things that I've changed have all made me happy, so it's not a problem that I've molded myself to fit each relationship in it's own way. So, I guess I'm not changing all that much after all. I'm just being introduced to new things, and I'm figuring out what I like, and what I don't.

So, then, what's with all the confusion? What's with all the loneliness?

I'm so afraid of being myself. I'm afraid to say what I want to say and I'm afraid to do what I want to do. It all comes back to rejection. Friends, family, and lovers have all rejected me. What's to stop the next person from doing the same?

I obviously don't know what the future holds. I have about a million daydreams a day of things that I want to happen, and I wish would happen. But that's all they are - dreams and wishes. I know there's a good chance none of them will come true. But, I still keep on dreaming and wishing them. Because there's a tiny chance that they will manifest themselves.

All I know is that I want to be loved, I want to fall in love, I want someone to fall in love with me, and I want a family. And right now, there's nothing in my life that I want more than that. Absolutely nothing. I know that it's waiting out there for me. I know that; I have no doubt in my mind I will find all that. It's just so damn hard to be patient.

Ya know what I hate?

Backstabbers. You know what I hate even more than backstabbers? People who backstab you and others, then bitch and complain about other people who backstab them and others. It's rediculous.

What ever happened to being nice to people that you come in contact with in your daily lives? What happened to being faithful to friends and the like? I can't stand people who run and tattle on others as if they are in kindergarten. Trying to get other people in trouble for shit that you know damn well that you've done before. Or if you haven't, try to take a moment to sit and think about how you'd feel if someone "told on you" for a similar incident. If it's serious, and needs to be addressed - then go right ahead...do your civil duty, tell whom needs to be told. But for stupid shit that really doesn't matter - why does all the gossip constantly have to be circulating?

Running the risk of sounding totally cliche, I'm going to ask: Why can't we just get along? Why can't we just treat each other literally the way that we want to be treated? Act just a little more like a family. We all are, after all. No matter if you believe we all came from monkeys, Adam and Eve, an alien planet, the dirt, or the dark confines of my closet, we all came from the same place. Why do we have to be so rude to each other all the time? I'm not saying we all have to sit around a campfire and sing Koombaya...but at least get along with each other.

I know I'm guilty of it too. I'm not a gossiper, but I can't say what I feel. After all, the people that I'm referring to will never read this. Will never know how I feel - never know that I am so bothered with thier constant bitching and complaining. I pretend to be thier friend, when as soon as I know they've left, I breathe a sigh of relief that I don't have to put up with the bullshit anymore or watch every move I make to assure I don't accidentally do something against the rules that might get me in trouble since I know they'll go and run, first chance they get, to tell everyone they know about what new thing someone else just did wrong.

It's a sad day when it seems I prefer my time at home alone when the number one thing I complain of in my life is being alone and not having friends to spend time with. A sad day indeed. It seems the more I look for someone loyal enough to be a friend, the more I find that they just don't seem to be out there. I've been so suprised recently of the people I thought I could trust - I really can't. I can literally count on one hand how many people I truly count as friends and can trust. How sad is that?

Some excellent movies this week...

I have finally, after literally years, talked my mom into watching Pitch Black and Interview with a Vampire with me. Both of them are among my all-time favorites, and she liked both of them, I am happy to say. I needed some cheering up and what better way to do that than watching some excellent movies?

This evening, I was flipping channels here at work and found Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; it's on now in the background. I haven't seen any of the older HP movies in some time, so it's a shock to see all the characters so young. I've been meaning to restart the books again, and I'll have to remember to pick up Sorceror's Stone and do so one of these days. I cannot wait for the Half Blood Prince's movie to come out. Definitely looking forward to that; I hope it is as good as the Order's movie was. I was impressed with how well OotP was done.

My sister never got a chance to see any of the Bourne movies, so we saw Borne Identity earlier this week, and will be watching Borne Supremacy soon. I enjoy that group of movies a lot - very good, in my opinion. I think they are well done. I still haven't gotten a chance to see the newest one, but we'll get to that one soon enough.

Other than movies, not much of anything has been going on this week. Nothing new; nothing exciting. I am feeling better now, though - back to my old self.

I do need to get back into walking. I neglected that a bit this past week. I have been so excited about me losing this weight, but I know that I need to keep up with what I've been doing, or it will all come right back on. I have been doing good with the portion sizes and watching my soda, which is super hard since I love my soda so much. But I've been craving Green Tea and Orange Juice a lot recently, so I've been drinking that. Milk, too. For some reason I've been drinking a lot of milk.

I'm going to be looking into taking a class or two at CSN this next semester, and I've signed up for an institute class already. The institute class starts Thursday the 22nd, so I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully it'll be a way to meet some new people. I'm also going to be trying to find a veteranary office to volunteer there. I think that would be a good way to spend some of my time. One, I'd not be as bored all the time, and two, I'd be doing something that I really would like to do. It'll give me a way to spend my time constructively. I spend too much of my time just sitting around wishing I was out doing something and I really need to get up off my ass and actually do something about it.

My birthday is 10 days away. Very excited about that. The last few birthdays I've had have been mediocre at best, so I'm hoping this one makes up for it a bit. I am going to try and have a semi party at a bowling alley on the Saturday after my birthday. I am hoping a few certain people will show up, but I know not to get my hopes up in case they don't show, because I don't want to be dissapointed. I know, if nothing else, Marita and mom will be there. Jes should be there, too - hopefully it turns out well overall.

Work has been stressing me out a lot, but I've learned the hard way that I can't put my thoughts into words when it comes to work. Way too many curious eyes out there. I'll also be sure to only blog here from now on rather than on MySpace.

Nothing much else to comment on. I'll update again when there's something to update. Fare thee well, my little blog.